I recently spent a fitful night unable to sleep because of the strong disagreement I knew we would be facing at the next day's board meeting. A peacemaker by nature, I dread situations of conflict. Like many of us in ministry, I'm into conciliation, not confrontation. Why can't we all just get along? Let's find the win/win. Surely we can work something out so we can all be unified.
"I need advice," Dave began our conversation. Dave is like many pastors who call Metanoia Ministries for counsel about how to handle conflict in their church.
Dave told me about Tom, a founding member and retired businessman in his church. "He acts like he is the boss and I am his employee," Dave explained, "constantly telling me what I did or said wrong."
A young leader is angered that the church Bible study she attends is now being taught by a kind but incompetent gentleman. The former teacher, who established and built the class, has been asked by the education director to take a new assignment.
The young leader does not want to see the class dwindle. Nor does she want to be a troublemaker. But she recently attended a seminar on leadership sponsored ...
ARTICLE The Emotions of Conflict The way to handle the most dangerous aspects of conflict is from the inside out. Richard Paul Minnich
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"I certainly see your point," Pastor Brown said. He kept his voice carefully modulated. Only his clenched hands betrayed his agitation, and neither Elder Peters nor Elder Roberts noticed.
"I'm really glad you're on our side, Pastor," Peters said, getting up from the couch. "I was afraid that this foolish proposal to turn an entire room over to the youth was going to be passed. I'm glad we'll avoid ...
It started with a simple request: "Will you come and moderate a special business meeting at our church?"
As presbyter for 30 churches in the San Francisco area, I agreed to assist. At the time I did not realize this would plunge me into a conflict that would nearly destroy a congregation.
A year after Bill was called to pastor this church, he wanted to change the by-laws to eliminate the periodic vote ...
The day before I was to leave on a much-needed vacation (the first full break in several years), I had lunch with one of our elders. I could tell something was bothering him. It wasn't long before he told me: he had heard some grievances and thought I should be aware of them. Someone had complained my salary was too high. Someone else felt I was taking too much vacation time. Another person expressed ...
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